That’s a dirty word?  In the world of digital wedding photography….yes…sort of.

There’s this somewhat odd trend in the wedding photography world right now.  (Oh yea, we ‘togs have our own little world, complete with celebrities, scandal, and all that jazz)  People are switching to film, or at least playing with it.   A few film shooters have risen to fame recently and it seems many photographers think joining the film bandwagon will put them on the fast track to being loved by wedding blogs and clients.   Or, they view it as the next big trend, and they don’t want to miss out.

It’s caused a bit of an uproar and backlash in the photography world.

If you are guessing this post leads to me making a big announcement that I’m switching to film – you’re wrong.  Sorry to dissapoint you.

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I’m going to stop right here and warn you – this post is loooong and rambling.  It’s a peak inside my brain for sure.  I wrote it as much for myself as for you.  Because for some reason I feel the need to explain myself ad nauseaum.  So if you want to just stop now and come back tomorrow for some pretty pictures, I’ll understand.  Really.

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However, my roots really are film. I learned photography with a beautiful little 35mm Minolta in college.  Learned it as in – how to use that camera and lens, how to manipulate light, how to manipulate the emulsion being dragged past my shutter, how to develop the strips of acetate, and how to love watching my images appear like magic in a pan of water and paper.  Oh yeah….the smell of developer is one of my favorites (second only to a good ‘ol oil based printing ink).

That’s not enough to make me old school?  I have a Bachelor’s degree in printmaking.  Like, inking-a-plate-one-by-one-and-turning-a-crank-on-a-printing-press printmaking.  I loved it then.  I love it now.  I miss it.

When I went to grad school to study animation and film making – you guessed it, I shot film.  Not video, not HD.  They were there and available and I tried them – but they didn’t speak to me.  I learned to animate on the same 16mm Oxberry camera used to shoot Sleeping Beauty.  I spent countless hours in a dark room in the basement.   I dragged my negatives across the parking lot in the middle of the night to get a beautiful worn look.  I left the film gate open on my Bolex on purpose.  I shot my whole thesis film on 35mm, tested exposures on a large-format polaroid, edited it all on a flatbed – even the sound. Sitting in our basement right now are several reels of 35mm film – the final prints of my thesis film.   I learned exposure, light, emulsion, filters – all of the things there are now buttons and automatic settings for – by trial and error.  By understanding them.

So yeah, Film is my roots.  I’m analog at the core.

(We needed a break. Get up and stretch.  This picture is me shooting a small animated film on a Bolex.  I loved that camera, man did I love that camera.  And yes, I’ve always had the terrible shooting face. The set was lit with gelled lights – hence the goofy color)

There is something magic about film that digital just can’t duplicate.  No amount of photoshop can duplicate the subtleties of what light does to multiple layers of silver and emulsion.  Knowing how to control that magic – how to push and pull it to create your art – that is an artform in and of itself.

Back in 2006 or so – I had a firm grasp on that magic.  And a year later, I was a digital wedding photographer.  Kind of a leap?  Yeah, I think so too.

I had moved back to Wisconsin.  I missed animating.  The decision to get a digital camera was an economic one.  I could shoot animation on it so much cheaper than film.  Plus, there aren’t exactly motion picture film labs choking the streets of Milwaukee.

I got that camera, and it was a slippery slope to indulging in my desire for immediacy in my art and evolving my former analog ways into becoming a digital photographer.

For some reason I don’t know I will ever understand – I threw all of that magic right out the window and never looked back.  For another reason I’ll never understand – I somehow forgot my training – it was as if I didn’t understand exposure and lighting at all.  Where technical photography training was concerned – I suddenly had amnesia.  I had to learn it all over again.  (Go ahead, look back at my early work – you’ll see how clueless I was) Maybe it was lack of use, maybe it was hiding in the cobwebs, offended.  I’m not sure, but it was gone.

In the fall of 2009, I went to Italy for a wedding photography workshop led by a film shooter with no real thought given to the film part of that statement at all.  Standing in the Tuscan sun, it was like someone uncovered a stack of dusty old records and plugged in a long-forgotten record player.  I was struck dumb.  My film self came rushing back over me, like a wave.  ”Oh yeah,” I thought to myself,  ”I remember that stuff.  I love that stuff.”

“I miss that stuff.”

I picked up a film camera again, dusted off my old Minolta, loaded up an old Rollie.  With each click of the shutter I found my art, and fell back into the magic.

So….am I shooting film?  Yes.

Am I shooting digital?  Yes.

Currently, I don’t trust myself enough to go 100% film for weddings.  Digital is too much of a safety net for me.  Maybe one day I will.  Maybe I won’t.  Maybe I’ll do a combination at some point.  I don’t know.

What I do know is that it won’t matter.  My art is my art.  Process has always been a big part of the final result for me – but as long as my clients love that final result – how I get there doesn’t really matter to them. It matters to me because I need it, not because they do.

Some people think a PC is better than a Mac.  I tend to disagree – but only because for me and the way my brain works – a Mac is the best fit.  A PC does all the same things, but it gets in my way.

Digital photography has to be processed – it has to be edited in order for it to look like what I want to put out there.  So to a certain extent, that ‘digitalness’ gets in my way.  But it also saves me, reassures me and is comfortable.  I have an investment in it – in so many ways.  And it has its merits too.  Film also has to be processed (duh) and that costs considerably, as does the scanning and purchase of the film to start with.  So, it is a trade of money for time and result.

So, we’ll see, and I guess I’ll leave you guessing.  But if you see me walking around with a film camera, don’t think I just got my film train ticket punched.  My ticket is worn and creased and hard to read.  Just the way I like it.