She’s my Mini because she looks just like me. She acts a lot like me too. I get dejàvu sometimes watching her – and flashback to a memory of my own childhood. Something I said or did, playing out in front of me again, with a different soul. At other times I’m struck by how much she reflects Hubby. She’ll smirk or throw her head back exasperatedly and suddenly she’s his Mini too.
She has so many awesome qualities, such a big personality, such out-of-place maturity, such independence. She’s a dreamer, a negotiator, a do-er, a creative. She’s strong-willed, curious, stubborn and confident. Almost everything that makes her so incredible is also what makes her tough to parent. It’s a fine line between molding her into an awesome human and not stripping her of such wonderful qualities.
In less than a month, she’s off to Kindergarten. We will no longer be the only ones who shape her world. This scares me endlessly. We’ve worked so hard to give her a world that is full of endless possibility, no boundaries and firm ground. I’m not ready for her to feel differently about it, or herself. I know it’s just Kindergarten, but it’s the first moment of letting go and it’s going to hurt. I’ll mourn the loss of my endless time with her, lunches with her knock-knock jokes and seeking answers to her endless questions. It will be joyful too though, as she embraces it with the verve that only she can.
(photos by Melissa Schollaert)