I’ve been getting a lot of inquiries for smaller, more intimate weddings lately.  In fact, several are already on the calendar this year.  This has me dreaming up detailed and decadent affairs on a smaller scale.  Because if you have fewer guests, you can do so much more for them.  Take it from a girl who had nearly 400 people on her guest list – small can be very good.

So, today when BHLDN emailed me about a 60% (!) off sale on their website – I challenged myself to pull together some plans for an intimate, small-scale wedding – all on sale.

It’s no secret that BHLDN is one of my favorite go-to sites for all things wedding.  But, they can be a bit expensive, so a sale is all the excuse I would need if I were a bride again.

Happy Planning!

No, you read the date on that one correctly.  Rachel and Mike were married last year.  They weren’t clients of mine (I was booked for their date), but they still wanted pictures from me, so we did a wedding portrait session right after their honeymoon for fun.  Since it was late fall, we decided to use a local apple orchard.  With the crispy weather lately, the leaves just beginning to turn and the golden light of afternoon, I’ve been obsessing over doing another apple orchard shoot.  Or better yet – an apple orchard wedding!  How much fun would that be?

I realized I never blogged the images from this shoot last year, so in the spirit of fall arriving…let’s check out Rachel & Mike.

I love a first look.  It’s one thing I would do differently about my own wedding day if I could.  Over the years, I’ve photographed those first glimpses in a number of different ways.  The first look is always specific to the couple in the form it takes.  Some do it alone, some with onlookers at a distance.  Some go blindfolded, some just show up at the same place and time.  The one shared factor is that it is always fantastic.

Stephanie had a great vision for how she wanted to see Ethan for the first time.  The result was one of the best first looks I’ve ever had the privilege to photograph.

First, Ethan and his guys got into position.  The men formed one solid line on the steps, and Ethan faced them.

Then, Stephanie crossed the street, hidden by her bridesmaids.  They formed a similar line, hiding Stephanie behind them.

And then, on the count of three, the girls parted and Ethan turned.

It was just….awesome.  And truly unforgettable.  Just the way a first look should be.

When I think back to what I thought I knew when I was heading into my first wedding – wow, embarrassingly little it turns out.

So now that I’ve shot my 100th wedding, I thought it might be time to take stock of what I’ve learned. I give you, 100 lessons from 100 weddings:

1. Light is king.  It is the difference between good and bad moods, amazing and lackluster atmosphere and ho-hum and breathtaking photography.

2. The ugly cry comes from trying NOT to cry.  So, just let it go.  You’ll thank me.

3. Casual, relaxed and laid-back don’t come by accident.  They are the result of a careful plan and schedule.

4. Natural light beats everything else.  Seriously.  Even overcast and grey natural light is better than unflattering indoor light.

5. You get one wedding day.  Just one.  So make it awesome and just what YOU want it to be.

6. Some wedding costs are expenses.  Others are investments.  Know the difference and invest accordingly.

7. The bridal magazines have almost all of it wrong.  Don’t listen to them.

8. The single greatest thing you can do for your wedding, and your sanity, is to hire a great wedding planner.

9. The word “just” and your dreams for your wedding day – they don’t go together.  Throw away “Just”.

10. Let the emotions flow and wear your heart on your sleeve – the dividends this will pay will be tenfold.

11. Being realistic with yourself on every aspect of your wedding day – weather, family relationships, atmosphere, locations – this will put you on the path to a successful wedding.

12. If at any point you are more consumed with plans for your wedding than you are with plans for your marriage, you have it backwards.

13. When someone asks you where your wedding is – they are asking about the ceremony, not your reception.  The wedding is the joining of two people, not the party that follows.

14. Engagement shoots are key in getting amazing, heartfelt wedding pictures.

15. “Stuff” doesn’t matter nearly as much as service and experience.

16. Bands are better than DJs.  The energy, the atmosphere, the tone – it just makes all the difference.

17. If you have only a few single friends and family left – skip the garter and bouquet tosses.

18. Your guests don’t know what all of your options were – only what you chose.

19. They also don’t know what your original plans were – so when something goes wrong – embrace it, and they will think it was intentional.

20.  You are the only one who can ruin your wedding day.  It is all about attitude.  Choose to not let anything ruin it for you.

21. DIY should be left to only the truly crafty.  Plan to do only what you can reasonably finish, and then cut that amount in half.

22. Details matter.

23. Choose a dress that makes you feel amazing, and nothing else.  Then, make sure it fits even better.

24. Plan for your comfort.  And the comfort of your attendants and guests. Comfortable people are happy people.

25.  Planning your wedding together is a preview in how you will plan your life together.  It can also be a teaching ground for that journey.

26. Enjoy your engagement – it is one of the shortest periods of your life.

27. Moving groups of people is like herding cats.  Figure on double the normal amount of time.  Seriously.

28. Guest management is the biggest factor in a wedding day schedule gone awry.

29. When in doubt, go classic.  You’ll never regret it.

30. Someone’s feelings are going to get hurt.  It is inevitable.  The important thing is how you handle it.

31. Friends and Family should never be vendors.  Honor them with the opportunity to enjoy your wedding as a guest.

32. Don’t be afraid of rain.  Plan for outside anyway.  If it rains, it rains.

33. Engagements shouldn’t last for multiple years.  Plan it and move on to married life!  Trust me, you’ll thank me on this one.

34. You’ll regret almost every promise or agreement you make in the first 30 days of your engagement.  Wait for the dust to settle.

35. When in doubt about the guest list or scope, go smaller.

36. Tradition is just tradition, not rules, and certainly not law.

37. Have a first look.  It doesn’t take away from the aisle moment, and it adds to your day exponentially.

38. Don’t go into debt over your wedding.

39. The most beautiful and expensive dress in the world will look like bargain basement discount if it doesn’t fit like a glove.  Tailoring is key.

40. Receiving lines are fun for no one.  Not the couple, not the guests, not the family.  No one.

41. Delicate flowers will never survive on Boutonnières.  No matter how careful you are.

42. Almost no guy wants to wear a Boutonniere. It is a flower afterall.  Think of something way cooler instead.

43. Guys deserve a special outfit too.  Get a custom made suit.  You’ll look and feel incredible, and you’ll use that suit for years.  And it will still cost a fraction of her dress.

44. Rental shoes are not designed for your comfort.  Buy your own.

45. Ushers are superfluous.  Having your groomsmen perform this duty when they have nothing else to do at that time = perfect.

46. Big wedding parties are over-rated.

47.  Family formals on the altar are boring.

48.  Vendors are people too.

49. If you want to have a cutting-edge wedding, talk to wedding vendors.  They’ve seen everything, and know what trends are played out already.

50.  Moving a whole wedding party requires one big vehicle.

51. Two photographers are not always better than one.

52. Table shots are crazy.  Like receiving lines, no one likes them.

53. Seating arrangements are appreciated by everyone.  Without them, people are downright stupid about seating themselves.

54. Breaking up an engagement is far easier and less painful than breaking up a marriage.

55. The “wedding music” cd is overdone.

56. Band-Aid brand Friction Stick is your best friend.

57. Relationship dynamics don’t disappear on a wedding day, they get magnified.

58. Skipping the honeymoon is a big mistake.  You’ll need that time more than you know.

59.  The day will fly past you at lightening speed.  Life will continue to accelerate after that point.

60. Learning to dance, even basically, is so worth it.

61. There are no second chances, no do-overs on a wedding day.

62. The officiant matters more than you realize.

63. Planners, coordinators, whatever you want to call them – if they are in charge, they should stay until dancing begins.

64. “artificial”, “fake”, “pseudo” and “mock” are just that – not real.

65. Getting ready in the church basement or a too-small hotel room isn’t fun.  Splurge on a great suite – it will make all the difference in your experience and your pictures.

66. Pay your vendors on time.

67.  ”Have to” should go the way of the word “just” (see #9).  Your brain should be sending up red flags anytime someone says “Have to” to you.

68. A couple should genuinely enjoy being with their photographer and wedding planner.  They are going to be in your face all day – they should be like a good friend.

69. Hiring professionals = trusting them implicitly to do their job.  Let them do it and follow their advice.

70. Planning a wedding is a full-time job.  It shouldn’t be done while working your actual full-time job.

71. If your vendors require more staff on your wedding day than you think necessary, don’t question it.  They have their reasons.  (see #69 about trust)

72. The Knot is evil.  Get off it – it fuels frenzy, craziness and all around mis-information.

73. Guests remember only a few things about each wedding: how much fun they had, how bad the food was, and how long they had to wait for ___________ to start.   Throwing a great party means addressing these things first.

74. A good DJ or band understands they are in charge of your reception after dinner.

75. How a vendor presents themselves at a meeting is how they will present themselves at your wedding.

76. Think about what you want on that trolley/bus with your wedding party ahead of time and put someone in charge of it.  There is not time in your day for unplanned stops.

77. Children and Dogs always steal the show.  Always.

78.  Planning for smaller numbers often translates to a better quality everything.

80. Don’t overlook the rehearsal dinner.  Give it the same attention you are giving the wedding.

81. Don’t add other big life events to your wedding.  One is enough.  Move later. Don’t graduate right before or after.  Quit your job another time.

82. A wedding is about two people.  Anyone who tries to convince you it is just about the bride – unfriend them.

83. Toasts will delay dinner.

84. If your feet are happy, the rest of you is happy.  And visa versa.

85. That disk of images will never get opened.  It will sit on your desk, unloved, for months.  Good for archiving, terrible for sharing your photography collection.

86. Outdoor anything is better than indoor, that goes for weddings too.

87. Include mother nature in your plans – coordinate with blooming apple orchards, the summer solstice, etc.

88. If you don’t have cake set aside for you, you’ll never get any.

89. Appetizers during cocktail hour are essential.  Without them, your guests are too ravenous to listen to toasts.

90. Your schedule needs to be considered from the first day of planning.

91. Have a vision for your wedding and edit out everything that doesn’t fit that vision.

92. Guests need subtle cues as to what is happening.  My favorite?  Coinciding dancing time with darkness.  Night = party.

93. You are being interviewed at a vendor meeting as much as you are interviewing them.

94. Life will move exponentially faster after your wedding day.  It will make your head spin.

95. Traditions and Heirlooms start somewhere – why not with you?

96. Photobooths are only awesome when they can hold lots of people and others can see what photos are being created.

97. You will rarely regret going the extra mile.

98. Favors are usually forgotten, abandoned and overlooked.  So if you are going to do them –  make them extra special.

99. Eight people tables should hold just that – eight. Not ten.  In fact, they should really hold six.  Don’t squish your guests!

100. Time is something you can never get back.  Buy enough of it, plan it’s use brilliantly and enjoy all of it.