Images come across the editing desk long before they show up on the blog… and sometimes I just can’t wait to share them with you. So, I have to jump the process and share at least one with you today from last weekend’s mini-sessions. Funny Ellie and her energetic bro Nathan made their session a bundle of fun! Twenty minutes flew right by and I was lucky to get this awesome shot.
It was 2015. He was the course doctor at the PGA tour at Whistling Straits. She was his new-ish girlfriend enjoying the views on the course, the gameplay of the pros and the warm sunshine. There were benefits to dating Ashok, many of which seemed to revolve around awesome sporting events and even more awesome venues in Kohler. There were other things too, of course. His winning smile, his gentle nature, the care and consideration he treated her with, the child-like energy he exuded when talk turned to his beloved Corvette. Oh, and those four children he gushed about. She hadn’t met them yet, but that wasn’t necessary to realize how great they were. So, there she stood, sunshine at her back, the wind off of Lake Michigan blowing her brown hair away from her face. She’d been at this hole for awhile, but she figured he’d be by as the foursome moved on. Then it happened. The crowd started to rustle, a low buzz of conversation that grew to higher tones of concern and panic. An amplified voice announced the game was to be suspended. A tornado warning had been issued. She looked around, not sure where to head amongst the hills and valleys of the Irish course. And there he was, running over to her. “Come on, let’s get you out of here” he called as he ushered her into his medical golf cart. He dodged the groups and tents. “Shouldn’t you be…?” she started to ask. But Ashok was focused and not really listening. He pulled up in front of a shelter, escorting her out of the golf cart and to the door. He smiled at her, then looked over his shoulder. She was sure his duties were elsewhere. “Okay?” he asked her, looking expectantly into her eyes. She nodded. “Good. I love you. Bye.” And off he ran, back to the cart, back to the course, and back to his job. And there she stood, stuck to the ground and speechless. He hadn’t said that before.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it every year – the wedding that falls at the end of June gets all the good “wedding day juju”. I swear! The weather is perfect, the setting is gorgeous, and the light is all kinds of magical. Annie & Mike’s day had all these things – but it is something more about this wedding that makes it really special. It’s the smile on her Mom’s face as the dress is buttoned, it’s the look in Mike’s eye as Annie comes down the aisle, it was the jokes Annie & her Dad shared outside the church, it was Mike’s “let’s do it!” attitude as we cruised around the golf course, it was the ‘can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard’ moments in the speeches, it was in the poetic words of Annie’s sister in her toast, and it was definitely in the way they sang their first dance to each other, as they swirled around and around the dance floor.
Wedding Planner: Clementine Custom Events
Ceremony Venue: St. Francis Xavier Church – Wilmette, IL
Reception Venue: Westmoreland Country Club
Hair & Makeup: Kate Johnson Artistry
Florals: Edwards Florists
Cake: Sweet Mandy B’s
Band: Carol Sarlas Band
Every once in awhile I catch a glimpse of something I wouldn’t usually do. If I’m feeling bold, I’ll go down that path creatively. I’m often surprised by where this takes me – sometimes good, sometimes bad. This time, it was good.
The Groom often gets overlooked in planning a wedding day look. Throw on a suit, fix the hair, grab your scotch and you are ready to go, right?
Not so much.
This is your wedding day, and you can have items that are special and meaningful to you as well. Your bride gets “old, borrowed, new and blue” as well as many other accessories and details that are special and significant. Why overlook such attention to detail for yourself? It’s easy to fall into the ‘here’s what I should wear’ mindset and follow along with the conventional checklist. Let’s step out of that mindset, and into one where we shine a spotlight on your style choices.
I’m going to tell you right here, right now – there is something very sexy and attractive about a man that takes the time and care to pay attention to the details of his look. You have dozens of options in this arena, so let’s explore, shall we?
I’ve spoken before about how a groom deserves his own suit, well fitted and designed for him. There are a lot of options with that suit to make it your own. Choose your lining – make it
Choose your lining – make it luxurious, a bit funny, or something nostalgic.
Have your name, your initials, or your wedding date embroidered on the breast pocket.
Find a piece of your father’s suit or tie or your grandfather’s – have it sewn into the lining inside as a patch, or as part of the embroidery above. What better way to carry a little legacy with you on your wedding day?
The Tie or Bowtie:
This is the most obvious place to make a choice that shows off your style. You can have color, pattern, subtle nuances. You don’t have to match anyone else, and you don’t have to have just black or white options either. Tiny elephants, a perplexing mix of golf clubs, or stripes of the alma-matter – the possibilities are endless.
Think about how you want this to look overall – skinny, wide, textured? What kind of knot do you like – a full Windsor? A half? Test it out and see if that will work with your desired choice. Many ties can be special ordered in a longer size if you need it. For bowties – learn how to tie them, practice and be able to execute this yourself on your wedding day without the help of youtube.
You can also add subtle touches to this part of your look with an embroidered or sewn on patch on the inside – with your monogram, your bride’s initials, your wedding date.
Shoes & Socks:
Buy your own shoes. Don’t rent them. Can’t see why? Click over to my previous post about this.
This is an opportunity to invest in some really wonderful dress shoes if you don’t already own a beloved pair. Your bride has spent hours and probably more bills than you’d like to admit on her wedding day shoes – give your feet the same consideration. Happy feet make for a happy groom. And, you can wear them again and again. Think about fun details like two-tone colors, cap-toe, wingtip, loafers – so many possibilities!
If you really want to show off your personality in a unique way – choose boots, tennis shoes, or oxfords.
Socks are a great way to “wink” at your personality and preferences. Use them to express the love of a team, a character, a sport, or add a splash of color only the most observant guest will notice.
Shirts & Cufflinks:
There is one detail that each time I see it, I automatically think higher of the wearer. It’s the monogrammed shirt cuff. Nothing says “I pay attention” more than this small detail. It’s usually in the same color as the shirt itself, and so very subtle – but noticing it feels like noticing a secret. It’s just that extra finishing touch that adds so much to the look and the swagger of the man.
Cufflinks are like subtle gentleman jewelry. There are thousands of options available to you. Commemorate a special interest, invest in your first pair of a fine jewelry version, or wear a borrowed pair. Some ideas I’ve seen and loved:
-A groom who wore the same cufflinks that his brother, father and grandfather had worn on their wedding days – now that’s a sweet legacy. (You can start that with yours for future generations) There was another Groom who wore his deceased grandfather’s cufflinks as a way to feel closer to him that day.
-Another Groom who wore his deceased grandfather’s cufflinks as a way to feel closer to him that day.
-A gifted set of cufflinks that showed maps of the couple’s birthplaces.
-A set of cufflinks made from the seats of the Groom’s favorite stadium.
-A set with the latitude and longitude numbers of the wedding venue engraved on them. Subtle, with a meaning known only to you.
Watches, Bracelets, Tie Bars:
I think my husband’s watch habit started shortly before we got married. Now it takes him longer to choose which watch to wear than it does me with earrings. Each one has a significant meaning and purpose. Which is why this is also a popular wedding gift option too. If your beloved doesn’t know what to get you for this special day – maybe hint at a special timepiece you can cherish and pass down. I’ve watched many a Groom blown away by opening a watch on the wedding day.
Not every man can carry off a bracelet well, but for those who can – they should. Another awesome wedding gift idea, and something that can add a bit of pizazz to any look. Maybe the wedding is when you add this to your everyday look with a special purchase. Or, maybe you do this only for special occasions. But catching a glimpse of a bracelet peeking out from the sleeve is a small thrill.
Tie Bars are seeing a resurgence thanks largely in part to retailer The Tie Bar, who has suggested this is a standard need in your look. These can punctuate your look like nothing else can. Like a cufflink, it’s the polish on the overall look. Again, it’s an opportunity to express your personality or make a statement if you wish.
Pocket Squares, Handkerchiefs, Collar Stays, Belts, & Suspenders:
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve helped a room of men fold their pocket squares. I learned how from this groom, and I’ve added other options to my repertoire since. The point here is; that too often – the pocket square is an after thought. Pick a good one – something that adds to your look instead of just blends in. Learn how to fold it. Even better, since this is largely decorative – have your tailor fold it and sew it to a card for you so that it stays put and perfect all day.
A handkerchief is not a pocket square. They look the same – but this one is meant to be used. Even better, it’s meant to be offered to a weepy Bride or Mom in an act of chivalry. It’s certainly something that hails from a bygone era, but heed the example. My own father still carries a handkerchief with him every day, and it’s one of the most endearing details about him. There has been many a time where I’ve needed to wipe my eyes, and seeing a handkerchief offered up – it’s like a hug. Carry one gentlemen.
If you like a crisp collar, you need collar stays. And here again – they can be a quiet way to add to your look. Get a stamped set, a monogrammed set, or even a fine gold set and add a level of polish and sophistication to the day.
I love a man in suspenders. There’s just something about the look – it says “dressed up”. But a belt works just as well. Choose your materials well, and use this as an opportunity to add surprise to your look if you wish. You’ll be taking that jacket off at some point during the night – why not reveal a set of paisley straps? If you are a cowboy at heart, go ahead and splurge on a good belt buckle and punctuate your belt with it.
No matter what you choose gentlemen – own your look. Educate yourself so you can make choices that make sense for you. Don’t just choose something from a catalog and stumble through dressing that day. It’s your wedding day – you should feel more yourself that day than any other.
I adore Milwaukee’s Villa Terrace. I mean, wrap-it-up-in-a-bear-hug, plant-kisses-rapidly-all-over-your-face – LOVE. I’ve shot there dozens of times, and each time I try to find a new angle, a new spot, a different way of seeing. It’s a delightful game, and when I know I’ve won it – I’m beaming as I edit. Like here, where we went up to the second floor to catch the last rays of light, admire the view, and soak in the experience.
To step foot on the land that Carrie & Ron have purchased is to know them. It is overflowing in features; rolling hills, magnificent positioning in the sun’s path, white rustic fence, long drive, remote and rural feel, open expanses of fields, untamed wildness, and the twinkle of both their eyes – a white clad barn built with obvious love, just waiting for their horses. Ron could talk about it, the garden they started already, the big “toys” he gets to acquire now, for hours. Carrie speaks mostly of the horses that she’ll import from Europe and raise here, the ones who will watch over the pasture in their retirement. The two of them step foot on the soil of this land and you can watch their stresses melt, their hearts lift, and their eyes sparkle – all at once. They’ve searched for this property for many years. They were nearly ready to give up. You never know how close you are to your goals sometimes. 2017 has been one of those years to break through for these two. They will have bought the land to build their dreams on, broken ground on a new home, and brought their 15 year (maybe more?) relationship to a defining moment of marriage.
Theirs is a story straight out of a movie script. A concert with friends led to a kismet meeting between the two groups, and more so between Elise & Dan. An after party at what they thought was a mutual friend’s house, turned out to be just random for them both. And not just random, but also rather seedy and possibly dangerous. Finding themselves surrounded by characters they could usually only imagine, conditions that were far below the acceptable nature of even the lowest of roach motels, and circumstances they could only see combining in disaster, they escaped. They ran, they laughed, they survived. At dawn they parted ways, grateful for a fresh new day. The weeks that followed found them messaging back and forth about their shared experience that night. It’s been said that stressful situations have a way of bringing people together. It’s true, and though theirs might not have been a plane crash or something that dire, it did the job just the same. Elise found there is no one she’d rather run away with than Dan. And Dan found he would prefer to spend all his madcap nights, and the calm ones too, with Elise.
They met among the rolling hills and endless roads of a group bike tour in Estonia. He had a gentle nature she appreciated, she was full of wit and maybe a splash of sass, which kept him on his toes. They were both connected back in Chicago; to other loves. Friends they became, and pedaled on through the years. The time wore on and still finding themselves gliding past one another on bike trips that require passports, feeling the fine breeze in their faces, and the long nights of wine and conversation surrounding them; circumstances had changed. He wondered if she was really interested, and available. She flirted with the idea that he was, and tried to leave the option on the table. And then there was the night when her travelling friend went to bed early, and there was some wine, and the cool night air, and the stars overhead, and a kiss…
She’s my Mini because she looks just like me. She acts a lot like me too. I get dejàvu sometimes watching her – and flashback to a memory of my own childhood. Something I said or did, playing out in front of me again, with a different soul. At other times I’m struck by how much she reflects Hubby. She’ll smirk or throw her head back exasperatedly and suddenly she’s his Mini too.
She has so many awesome qualities, such a big personality, such out-of-place maturity, such independence. She’s a dreamer, a negotiator, a do-er, a creative. She’s strong-willed, curious, stubborn and confident. Almost everything that makes her so incredible is also what makes her tough to parent. It’s a fine line between molding her into an awesome human and not stripping her of such wonderful qualities.
In less than a month, she’s off to Kindergarten. We will no longer be the only ones who shape her world. This scares me endlessly. We’ve worked so hard to give her a world that is full of endless possibility, no boundaries and firm ground. I’m not ready for her to feel differently about it, or herself. I know it’s just Kindergarten, but it’s the first moment of letting go and it’s going to hurt. I’ll mourn the loss of my endless time with her, lunches with her knock-knock jokes and seeking answers to her endless questions. It will be joyful too though, as she embraces it with the verve that only she can.
(photos by Melissa Schollaert)